at least you can laugh about it!

I would almost rather put a hot poker in my eye then go to the pediatrician...and not only is it bad going with one child but going with ALL five children is miserable. Not only because of the wailing and whining from my children but all the looks I get while I am there!
I almost feel like I need to wear a sign that says:

" yes- they are all mine........... I never put my kids in any danger.... yes I am in control.....I always know if they are sick....no they do not stand on the stools, counters or anywhere dangerous..... they wash their hands all the time....they eat three balanced meals.....yes I am in control......they always listen to me at home just not here.........yes I am in control.........bruise what bruise....."

Today I got to go the pediatricians not once but twice....don't get me wrong our pediatrician is AWESOME (he is also our neighbor and he really is great) but just physically getting there is hard enough let alone trying to convince a 7 , 5 , 3 & 1 1/2 year old to cooperate by opening and shutting their mouth swabbing parts that don't get swabbed and looking in ears is REALLY hard. The first go round I made an appointment for Zack because I was worried about his cough he has had for a week or so. I took Sammy (she was home from school not feeling great) and had the neighbor watch Cooper and Tyson- and Syd was at school. Zack did beautiful- he cooperated and laughed and giggled and was so cute and I thought this isn't so bad. The Dr. said he was fine just a little cold. So I asked if he would look at Sammy's throat....
This is how the check went:

Dr: Whoa, she has got some big tonsils; let's check her for strep
Mom: I know I was worried about strep but she hasn't' fevered
Dr: okay Sam we are going to swab......
She hears the word swab and immediately hides behind me....shaking her head and big huge tears well up in her eyes.
Sam: No- no-no-no (shaking her head)
Dr. Its only...
Sam: No
Mom: Sammy it doesn't......
Sam: No-
Dr: do we really have to hold you down to do this...
Sam: No
FINALLY we lay her on the table...I hold her down and he swabs her throat.
Sam: oh that wasn't bad.

Test result POSITIVE for strep throat. I get to thinking for sure Sydney has it (milder symptoms but same symptoms non the less) WHAT! And she is at school. Yep this is where I need the sign that says: "I do know when my kids are sick and I try not to infect others."
SO I go pick up my boys and get Sydney from school and head back to the pediatricians office. BEFORE Syd can even get in the door of the car....Sammy tells her we have to go the Dr. and get SWABBED. And this sends Syd into convulsions....
(For the record she had to get an influenza test in October where they basically swab your brain and that is all she can remember)

Mom: Syd....
Syd: (crying screaming)
Sam: It isn't bad they just shove a stick down your throat and it makes you gag.
Oh yea that makes it sound all better
Mom: SYD
Syd: Crying and screaming
Tyson: Mom I do it they look in my throat and shove a stick and I not cry
Syd: Crying
Mom: SYDNEY
Sam: Really it isn't bad it didn't hurt but I cried.
Mom: Sam just be quiet----

Finally we pull in the office and I have her convinced there is no swab going up her nose it goes in her throat and it tickles a little bit.
She gets swabbed willingly..........POSITIVE for strep throat.
I figured since I am there I better get the boys checked so I am not back in 2 days- Tyson willingly opened his mouth and got swabbed (good little guy) but Cooper not so much.
Both POSITIVE for strep throat. WHAT! Yep just had them at the neighbors...once again I need a sign that says "I know when my kids are sick and I try not to infect others"
So I am now at the doctor with all five of my children FOUR of whom test positive for strep throat and the fifth we are going to treat anyway.
If it were really possible I would have given them all a penicillin shot....but for Sammy & Sydney there was no convincing and it would have ruined all chances of me ever getting them back in there...so I opted for chewables for them and shots for the boys.
So now I am back in the exam room with the two boys, the nurses have my baby (thank goodness because at this point I did not have enough hands) and the girls are in the front waiting room coloring. I hold down Tyson & Cooper----

Tyson: crying, slobbering and running boogers...."I not want to do that again, it hurt"
Mom: I know I am so sorry.
Tyson: I not want to do that again. I not want to do that again...DON'T touch my leg.
Cooper: Screaming at the top of his lungs.

Both boys cried for at least 10-15 mins. I didn't dare leave until they settled down a little bit ...because I didn't have my sign that said "I am in control". The nurse came in to offer stickers didn't work....the Dr. came in to offer suckers....didn't' work initially but finally after a little more crying they both calmed down and took a sucker. In the meantime my baby is STILL with the nurses and the girls are coloring in the front by themselves.
As we get ready to leave Tyson refuses to walk because his leg hurts so I had to have the receptionist carry my baby - Cooper limped with the girls- The entire walk out Cooper, Tyson and Zack were screaming. They were glad to see me go and needless to say I was glad to go.

Now seriously I made the original appointment for the ONLY healthy child in the family....and Cooper the 1 1/2 year old walked out of the office and the 3 year old had to be carried. What does that tell you? Tyson should not get the penicilan shot again he CANNOT handle it.

All in all as bad as this sounds it had to be done so I can write about it and laugh. If you could only be a fly on the wall in the little tiny exam room with my five kids and the doctor trying to diagnose a problem. HMMMM....where to begin.



P.S. This is a sorry to those that we directly and indirectly infected with our Strep throat germs...if you don't get it from us you will probably get it from someone that got it from us.... ARGH!